Norman Finkelstein discovers a news exclusive after the recent Zionist lobby AIPAC conference:
In a move that shocked his AIPAC audience but which his supporters called “brave,” Barack Obama dropped his drawers to prove that he was Jewish. John McCain immediately issued a statement alleging that he was circumcised first. (The Republican candidate is 71.) Basing himself on extensive fieldwork, Daniel Pipes, a McCain supporter and noted authority on Muslim culture, observes that “looks can be deceiving — Muslims are also circumcised.” (Pipes’ new book is “Turkish Bath Terror Network.”) Speaking for the Democratic party, Nancy Pelosi promises to investigate the “particulars” of their candidate. Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton announced that although as a feminist she opposed circumcision, she would make an exception if it would get her the nomination. “Speaking as her husband,” Bill Clinton said, “I couldn’t care less, but if this is what it takes, heck, I’ll slice off a piece too.” Crackers from Hope refused comment.