Finally, the American government can solve the Middle East crisis:
According to State Department officials, the violently clashing peoples of Israel and Palestine have agreed to resume small talks this week in an effort to move toward eventually having a discussion about the weather. “Our goal is to achieve a preliminary open dialogue about the weather that will be mutually beneficial for all involved,” said Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, adding that the small talks would likely touch upon other issues, such as how the nations’ kids were, and whether or not the other government had seen the game last night. “They may not see eye to eye on every point, of course, but the most important thing now is for both nations to just sit down and say that, yes, it looks like rain, and that, man, the traffic out there sure was a nightmare this morning, wasn’t it?” At press time, officials were trying to find the easiest way for representatives from Israel and Palestine to bump into each other at the grocery store.